Thursday, March 3, 2011
being something by not being something else
I was trying to think what it is to be humble. Mind mostly came up with answers like not being arrogant, not being conceited, not being something else. That probably means I understand not being humble better than I understand being humble, but it also made me think of something else.
In meditation, I used to find myself a bit lost. I would start thinking, "What am I doing?" Eventually, I considered, maybe I'm not sure what I'm doing but I know what I'm not doing. I'm not chasing sensual desires, I'm not arguing with anyone, sitting in meditation, for that moment, I'm not causing suffering to anyone. Of course, I'm inevitably going to have to stand up and return to the dramas of the world, hopefully a bit more likely to ease than add to them. When meditating, if doing nothing else, I'm at least creating a habit of not doing, not reacting, not being foolish. Eventually, maybe I will understand this not doing, and not being.
So, instead of trying to figure out how to be humble, I can try to catch myself not being humble. Wouldn't that leave humility?